OS-related humor

If it doesn't fit anywhere else, drop it in here. (not to be used as a chat/nonsense section)

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Trasher
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Re: OS-related humor

Post by Trasher » Mon Jan 07, 2013 6:16 pm

If you want to see misc. tech support stupidity, check out this site:

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

manuel
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Re: OS-related humor

Post by manuel » Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:38 pm

jonaspm wrote:Image
from my Samsung Galaxy Ace
nice picture ;)

PurpleGurl
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Re: OS-related humor

Post by PurpleGurl » Mon Jun 10, 2013 1:58 am

Maybe some riddles and one-liners too.

What is the difference between a really big girl and ReactOS? The big girl has "junk in the trunk."

Did you know that Mayor Michael Bloomberg has a serious problem with us using the FAT file system?
(To get it, this is the US mayor who banned large soft drinks from being served to the public and got very mad when someone made a 36,000 calorie "cupcake" with his image on it. So he opposes anything with calories, corn syrup, or fat in it.)

tomleem
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Tech Support Humor.

Post by tomleem » Mon Jun 10, 2013 3:48 pm

http://tcastle.com/fun/jokes10.html
'
Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A: drive won't work."

Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"

Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all."

Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?"

Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn't work either."

Tech Support: "You did what sir?"

Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit."

Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?"

Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective."

Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A: drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?"

At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in.

Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what you just said?"

Customer: "I said I put butter in my A: drive to get your crappy disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out."

Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that was sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject button?"

Silence.

Tech Support: "Sir?"

Customer: "Yes."

Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?"

Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer?"

Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our company because you put the disk in the A: drive, didn't follow the instructions we sent you, didn't actually seek professional advice, didn't consult your user's manual on how to use your computer properly, instead proceeding to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?"

Customer: "Ummmm."

Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do record every call and have it on tape?"

Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed to help!"

Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you. Have a nice day."

'
(copied from the site). I think it is very funny. :lol:

There are other ones at the site.

http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/compute ... _calls.htm
more tech support humor at this site.
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PurpleGurl
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Re: OS-related humor

Post by PurpleGurl » Fri Jul 12, 2013 2:01 am

I wonder what the funniest thing anyone will try to port ROS to run on? Like will they try to run on a toaster, garbage disposal, or microwave? I hear some are trying to run it on their ARM. What is next, running it on their LEG, or running it in their HAIR?

Seriously, it might run in some strange places like sign boards, displays, ATMs, etc. As long as when they use it in an ATM they don't make it do like on Maximum Overdrive. A minor character at the beginning (played by the playwright himself, Stephen King), hollered to his wife, "Honey, come look, this machine just called me an a**hole!" That was better than what it said on the marquee signs (the F-word).

mrugiero
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Re: OS-related humor

Post by mrugiero » Fri Jul 12, 2013 3:07 am

PurpleGurl wrote:I hear some are trying to run it on their ARM. What is next, running it on their LEG, or running it in their HAIR?
:lol:

PurpleGurl
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Re: OS-related humor

Post by PurpleGurl » Thu Feb 13, 2014 1:14 pm

Some one-liners:

1. I just made an invisible port of ROS. It won't even run on virtual hardware, but it will run on make-believe hardware.

2. Hey spammer! It says General Discussion not genital discussion!

3. I hear all this talk about race conditions. Are they saying the OS is racist or that the 1's and 0's hate each other?

4. My PC refuses to run Mac stuff. Does that mean it is racist?

5. I didn't know Windows had intimate parts. But then I saw the MSGINA file.

6. Files can be mentally ill? I see all this talk about committing files.

The_French_Rat
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Re: OS-related humor

Post by The_French_Rat » Mon Feb 17, 2014 8:31 am

A joke:
What's the difference between a car and the ReactOS kernel?
You can't restart the car after it crashes.
Just think of ReactOS as the XP beta, Whistler.

middings
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Re: OS-related humor

Post by middings » Sat Mar 08, 2014 1:44 am

Q. How is a Microsoft programmer with $100,000,000 of vested stock options like a ReactOS programmer?

A. Neither of them are working for the money.

PurpleGurl
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Re: OS-related humor

Post by PurpleGurl » Fri Apr 25, 2014 6:36 am

A while back, I was looking for open source USB code that would not cause ROS to hang on boot, but it looks like everyone HID it.

justincase
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Re: OS-related humor

Post by justincase » Fri Apr 25, 2014 7:34 am

Thrasher, thanks for that link I had quite a laugh:
Trasher wrote:If you want to see misc. tech support stupidity, check out this site:

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/
I just came across this on that site, and thought I should share :mrgreen:
When working as a computer consultant in college, a co-worker and I were playing around with the NETSEND command in Windows NT. At one point he accidentally sent a message to all the NTs in the lab that said, "Can you see me?" Shortly thereafter, a girl came to our station looking perturbed.

Girl: "Um, my computer is talking to me. It's asking if I can see it."
Co-Worker: "Can you see it?"
Girl: "Yes."
Co-Worker: "Click OK."
We laughed for a good fifteen minutes after that.
I reserve the right to ignore any portion of any post if I deem it not constructive or likely to cause the discussion to degenerate.

PurpleGurl
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Re: OS-related humor

Post by PurpleGurl » Thu Jun 12, 2014 2:00 am

I read someone's tagline and am not sure I agree:

"IT: The only place where a cookie could pose a risk to your privacy."

If you eat a whole pile of cookies for a long time, there is no hiding that fact.

Addition:
I am trying to create a toilet-based OS, but leaks are a problem. You know what happens when you allocate more water than you deallocate...

What about extensions from MS-DOS days. I am sure some created interesting names that used those, like VAMPIRE.BAT or BASEBALL.BAT. Or I_WANT_S.EXE

tomleem
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Re: OS-related humor

Post by tomleem » Thu Jun 12, 2014 9:24 pm

PurpleGurl wrote:I read someone's tagline and am not sure I agree:

"IT: The only place where a cookie could pose a risk to your privacy."

If you eat a whole pile of cookies for a long time, there is no hiding that fact.

Addition:
I am trying to create a toilet-based OS, but leaks are a problem. You know what happens when you allocate more water than you deallocate...

....
Toilet OS? I guess you are just 'flush' with ideas. ;) Working on it might be a 'drain' on your resources? :D
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PurpleGurl
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Re: OS-related humor

Post by PurpleGurl » Fri Jun 13, 2014 7:04 am

tomleem wrote:
PurpleGurl wrote:I am trying to create a toilet-based OS, but leaks are a problem. You know what happens when you allocate more water than you deallocate.......
Toilet OS? I guess you are just 'flush' with ideas. ;) Working on it might be a 'drain' on your resources? :D
LOL! Reminds me of Google's April Fool's joke. They were offering sewer-based Internet. If you can get it through your phone lines, cable TV lines, and even power lines, why not the sewer lines too? They said they would send you an installation kit. You get coax cable, a sinker (like a fishing weight), latex gloves, a modem, USB or network cables, manual and power supply. You are to tie the sinker to the coax cable, put on the gloves, and feed the cable into the toilet as you flush it. Then you connect the other end to the modem, connect the modem to the PC, and plug in the power supply. They said that within 3 days, one of their techs would connect the other end. They admitted the implementation had problems such as service brownouts, overflow problems, viruses, and occasionally crappy service. It might even be a strain on resources...

tomleem
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Re: OS-related humor

Post by tomleem » Tue Jun 17, 2014 3:32 pm

PurpleGurl wrote:
tomleem wrote:
PurpleGurl wrote:I am trying to create a toilet-based OS, but leaks are a problem. You know what happens when you allocate more water than you deallocate.......
Toilet OS? I guess you are just 'flush' with ideas. ;) Working on it might be a 'drain' on your resources? :D
LOL! Reminds me of Google's April Fool's joke. They were offering sewer-based Internet. If you can get it through your phone lines, cable TV lines, and even power lines, why not the sewer lines too? They said they would send you an installation kit. You get coax cable, a sinker (like a fishing weight), latex gloves, a modem, USB or network cables, manual and power supply. You are to tie the sinker to the coax cable, put on the gloves, and feed the cable into the toilet as you flush it. Then you connect the other end to the modem, connect the modem to the PC, and plug in the power supply. They said that within 3 days, one of their techs would connect the other end. They admitted the implementation had problems such as service brownouts, overflow problems, viruses, and occasionally crappy service. It might even be a strain on resources...
I heard it was perfect for data dumps. :roll: I guess they were just flush with ideas. ;)
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